“Hello, Victoria?” 

“Yeah, hi Millie! It’s good to hear from you. What’s going on?”

“Remember back in February when we got together in Arizona at that Airbnb in the country?”

“Sure do…Vino y Vaca.”

“What?”

“Vino y Vaca…the name of the Airbnb was called Vino y Vaca…it means “wine and cow” in Spanish.”

“Ok…whatever you say. Anyway, were you and “Bahh-ry” (I love how Easterners pronounce Barry) serious about joining us on the Outer Banks in North Carolina?”

“Oh…well… yeah, of course. We’ve heard so much about the Outer Banks, that it’s on our bucket list of places to see.”

“Well, we’ve rented a nine-bedroom house right on the beach! It has a private pool, hot tub, and beach access. We hope our kids and their families can join us along with some other friends. We’d love to have you guys too! Oh Victoria, get this. In the kitchen there are three separate sinks, three dishwashers, two ovens, two microwaves and plenty of counter space to prepare meals!” Millie quickly catches herself, realizing who she is talking to about meal preparation, “Oh, but you don’t have to bring any food. We got that covered already.” (I smile. I love it when people remember that I am a horrible cook, chef, baker, and recipe-follower.) 

So, we pulled the trigger. It took us three days to drive there from Kansas; into Missouri; through Illinois; across Indiana; parts of Ohio; then Kentucky; into beautiful West Virginia; followed by Virginia; and finally, North Carolina. Our kids kept hounding us, “why don’t you fly?” That’s not the cowboy way. We have a friend who drives it in ONE day! Not us, we’re crazy but not that crazy. 

Once we arrived on Sunday at Corolla Beach (north of Kitty Hawk), we had one more task to do before we continued to the destination of the Airbnb called Dragonfly Knoll. We had to deflate all four tires on Blanca (4x4 F-150 truck). We now had eight miles of driving literally on the unmaintained beach. Millie had told us to keep an eye out for the wild horses that freely roam the area and are protected from any human contact by a law enforcement of at least fifty feet. We immediately saw four different groups of them, some with small colts. That was cool. 

Upon arrival after warm hellos and hugs, we were shown our room and bathroom in this huge house. I then asked Millie, “so who all are coming?” 

“Oh, there’s me and Claire of course (2); you guys (2); Nate and Steph with their four kids (6); Jarrod and his wife and baby (3): Sean and his wife (2): Ryan and his wife (2); Claire’s brother Jim, his son Josh, and a family friend named Dennis (3); and Allan and Rose may join us later (2). “

I’m quietly thinking to myself…Holy Crap!…that’s a lot of people in one house! Let’s see if my math is correct…two, four, ten, …carry the one…yep. Twenty-two! But we truly love each and every one of this group and feel more like family members than friends. This will be fun. It depends on our attitude.

Everyone had their own space to hang out; rest; read; go fishing; swimming; beach combing; or whatever. There were no expectations of participating in a group activity. Case in point happened to me all the time: 

                        “You coming to the beach with everyone?” – Nope

                        “Want to go swimming in the pool right now?” – Nope

                        “Want to play some board games or cards?” -Nope

                        “Want to go to the coffee shop in town?” -Nope

                                          …”I’m going to sit on my fat butt in this patio chair on the outside deck and read my book. Thank you very much.” 

Only at meals were you expected to either help prepare, clean up, or reply “yes ma’am” if asked to do a quick task. Otherwise, you were on your own schedule. I really enjoyed that freedom. 

Soon, it was time to head back home and have a day or two off before Mother’s Day. So, we left on Wednesday morning with a tearful goodbye. On the way home, I started to analyze this experience. What did I learn from it? How can I apply the life lessons that I felt? What intrigued me the most?

Here are some of them. 

• Loosen up and don’t be so regimented when wanting to organize workspace or chores. It’ll get done. But not maybe how you think it should be or in your time allotment. Whew. This was the hardest for me. Steph (Millie’s daughter), pulled me aside and basically told me this in love. She was right. I had to take a breath and step back from the fire. 
• Stop, look, and listen. Really listen. Keep eye contact. Absorb the conversation completely. Whether it’s a three-year old giving you some pretend “deer bologna” from a make-believe deer hunt, or a couple from South Africa relating their first-hand experience of apartheid. Really listen. 
• It’s perfectly okay not to join the crowd. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t offer excuses. Don’t offer an apology. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t do it. If the person asking doesn’t understand, that’s not on you. That’s on them. 
• It was so interesting to me to see the architectural designs of the houses there. All of them in this area were at least three stories tall with either the bottom floor empty, on tall stilts or at least empty and covered up with lattice work on the outside.  This was of course because of the constant threat of the sea flooding inland. 

I hope you have enjoyed visiting the Outer Banks with me!